This is it

Day by day i think i am more alone than i was the day before.I think every day about the sense of my life,and i don't know if there is really any sense...I know i have the big part of the guilt and it's my fault that i have no friends and i don't have any close people...I've noticed that people look at me different than they looked couple of days ago.I don't touch anybody and this way i provoke them to do the things they do.How will anybody react if he was in my place?I need an advice, but having nobody close i don't know where to get it.

This was my family...

All these people were making my day and im so greatfull to them.I miss them so much and i can't believe the last time i saw them was a month ago.All these moments we shared, i'll never forget them.Yesterday i found out that i'm not needed there anymore.When looking at this situation from directors' position i can understand him, he needs hardworking people that are ready to work,meanwhile i would be just a temporary worker there.Even if i was the best in the work we were doing i guess it isn't enough.I start thinking that there are people that i'll never see any more,and when i think about it,sadness i guess, it is all i can associate this situation with:(.I know that there are people  left that care about me,they don't stop writing to me and it is really hard to let go.I have to find a new job and get used to another people  in order to forget them, but i'm not sure if it is the best solution.Even if there i wasn't paid so much and even if at the beginning i was arguing with the director,i liked a lot to work there.All the time spent there stays in my heart and no matter where i go i'll never forget them."Celentano" Goodbye!

This was my family...

For a period of time these people became my family.These are the people whom i worked with a period of 4 months.Now i am far away,i have to study, but i can't stop thinking of them.I remember every moments spent with them and i want to go back stronger and stronger.

Today i spoke to one of them and i understood that i can't go back and work with them because there are a lot of waiters there.It hurt very much

Loneliness...

Today I understood that i'm lonely..I can't tell anyone my thoughts about sad and happy moments of my life.I have a lot of people surrounding me, but noone cares of me or what really happens in my soul.I am a happy person, apparently, but deep in my heart i feel lonely.Maybe the problem is in me,cause i think i don't need anybody to express my feelings to, maybe i just have to let it go cuz it is just a depression.Who knows?Maybe i need a girlfriend that could listen to me, and maybe she is right near me and i can't observe her.I realize that there are bad moments in life, but there are also good ones, they compensate each other.Life is life, and i have to understand that everything happens for a reason.Maybe today i have no mood, but tomorrow, when the sun shines it will enlighten me and i'll change my position..who knows?I have a lot of questions and i need someone who could answer me...

I guess the only problem is me and it depends on me what life will bring next.I think i should change my behavior and people near me will change their attitude.I should  start to respect people,and not to be so rude, but i'm afraid i'll be lost as a person if i will do this.This is all me, and if i change i don't know how everybody will react.I will think...a lot...and i'll try to find answers to my questions myself.I guess in this life i should walk alone and this will bring me more advantages than i think..and again...who knows?

Air

I feel so lucky that i live in a city near the mountains.Tonight i had a run and i got full of energy.I just like running  alone at night.There is noone to bother me,i feel free and i have my head filled with different thoughts.I think about a lot of things,it's like falling in trance :) cuz when i run i don't pay attention to anything.I run in the woods near the mountains and i enjoy it a lot.Today it was little cold but i'm already used to it so that's no problem to me.Also i spoke to my brother today. He told me something about what is happening home.I told him about my thoughts.I hope we'll manage to go to America togehter, but i have to solve the problem with my exams.I think the professors will understand me. I want to visit America so much, I hope i'll be able to reach this dream.

The face i cant forget

It happened last summer. I met this girl and i realized she will be mine.It took 2 days to get closer to her and it just worked...After a 10-day holiday spent with her we had to break up because of the distance between us.A month passed,a year passed..but my mind is still only at her cute face.I found this photo on google, cuz i could'nd find her anywhere else.I don't have her number, I can;t find her on facebook..It's really sad and i don't know what to do to get her back. Every girls i met after her i was comparing them.Now if i just had 5 minutes to tell her everything i feel i'll be the happiest person on this planet...

The wheel that works on and on

Life is like a wheel that apparently never stops.Every day of my life seem the same like the day before. I want to stop this routine, but  i don't know if i can do this.Today i didn't met anybody new, today i didn't see any new places.It bores me a lot. I started to play a computer game.It's just killing time, the time that i don't know how to spend. When i was home, i was working and i was doing something everyday,i didn't had time for games.Now i just don't find anything interesting to do so i need an advice.Maybe i need a new girlfriend to spend time with, maybe i need a friend,I don't know and i'm really confused.

Some thoughts about perfection

Today i lifted some wights,maybe i'm just trying to be perfect?But what really perfection is?How to become perfect?When do you realize you are perfect enough to just be yourself. Often we try to fake our character , and people just know us from a wrong way.I hope that someday i will find the answers to all this questions and i won't try to get perfect, but i'll just be myself.

A new page in my life

Today i'm openning a brand new page in my life.
I guess this blog will open this page for me so i could feel free.
A little pre-story of my life:I'm a student at a university in Romania, already 2nd year:) i don't have actually any problems , but sometimes i think i need something more, something that will open my eyes wider and will bring new colours in my life.I don't really know what it is,maybe it is somebody,i don't know, but i guess sooner or later i'll find what i'm looking for.